by Traer Schon
As Honors students, Jischke is our home base. It’s where we begin our journey in Honors 121, where we hold most big events, and where we learn to love (OK, maybe not that one). Tucked inside of the first floor of this building is our own little Room of Requirement—the Jischke kitchenette. All you have to do is think of what you need and it will appear (usually after digging through a tub full of crap). The kitchenette is often tragically overlooked when people think of the Honors Program and its benefits, so I decided it was time to change that, and shed some light on this room full of possibilities, creativity, and half-eaten food. When I snooped around late one Wednesday night, here is what I found.
1. Dangerous Baking Ingredients
What exactly is inedible sugar and flour? And what is its purpose? Can they be eaten when mixed with other ingredients? Regardless, I’ve never been more tempted to try to eat flour.
2. Tappan Microwave Cooking Guide
If you’ve got this book and a microwave, what’s even the point of an oven? Gourmet meals have never been so easy or fast to make. Check out this useful book for all of the best recipes 1979 has to offer.
3. Four Bottles of Mrs. Butterworth’s Syrup
It’s unclear how long these four gender stereotype-enforcing syrup bottles have been sitting in this vertically placed tub near the refrigerator, or why exactly they’re there. They’re probably extras from the annual Honors Program Pancake Breakfast—oh, that’s not a thing? Well it should be. Remember these pour ladies (sorry) next time you’re looking for some free syrup.
4. A Helpful Referral
Contact Linda for all of your paper towel dispenser concerns. This does not include complaining about looking stupid because you thought it was an automatic dispenser—don’t bother Linda with that. Professional paper towel concerns only, please.
5. Chutes and Ladders
Because even the most scholarly of Honors students can enjoy the “Classic up and down game for preschoolers.”
6. A pig in a box?
Don’t stare at it for too long. It’s not safe.
7. So. Much. Trivia.
All of the trivia. The only thing more fun than knowing stuff is MAKING SURE EVERYONE ELSE KNOWS THAT YOU KNOW STUFF BY BEATING THEM IN A GAME.
8. Long Grain White Rice
Yes, that is a feather underneath a bag of rice. Below the mailboxes may not be the most conventional place to store rice, but it’s there nonetheless, and we should just accept that. I’m not sure how it ended up there, but rice can come in handy in many everyday situations such as eating rice, or even looking at rice.
9. This Book
If you’re searching for some light reading material for the summer, look no further!
10. A Model Castle
I was not able to confirm or deny that this is Hogwarts. Either way, it is a work of art and is currently on display teetering precariously on top of the mailboxes.
I hope you now feel more familiar with this little treasure trove of interesting things in Jischke—or at least enjoyed this in-depth, hard-hitting piece of journalism. As a member of the Honors program, it’s important to know that these invaluable tools are at your disposable.