by Sarah Leichty
Oh, Netflix. You and your 10 second timer are so beloved and hated by all college students. As a notorious binge-watcher of shows on Netflix, I believe that the Five Stages of Lost Productivity Grief should be identified for the sake of all of those grief-stricken students whose families own a Netflix account. Having watched twelve 40-minute episodes (the whole first season) of American Horror Story this past weekend, this is truly a good time to put my regret-laden thoughts on paper. Commiserate with me, fellow Netflix-lovers.
- Denial – I’ve been working on this paper for 30 minutes and have about a page done. Not too shabby. Maybe I’ll take a little break and watch ONE episode of something. I’ve heard American Horror Story is good. Just a tiny break.
- Anger – How did I already watch 5 episodes? I said one, didn’t I? Come on Sarah, don’t do this again.
- Bargaining – Ok, this is really the last one. Then I’ll do five hours of studying and homework, and I’ll be super productive. I’ll do every assignment for the next three weeks after just one more episode. I can’t leave it on that last cliffhanger (even though every episode ends on a crazy cliffhanger…).
- Depression – All is lost. I’ll never graduate, since I’ll never work on homework again, since I’ll keep watching this show forever and now I’m almost done with the whole first season. I’m doomed. How will I ever face my friends and family who will ask me what I did over the weekend? Shame, guilt, regret…
- Acceptance – Oh well. It happened. I stayed on my couch for 9 hours and will need to work my lazy butt off during the week, but at least I found out how the season ends (and what an ending it was!). My roommate watched all of it with me too, so at least we are sharing the burden of binging, right? Season 2, anyone?